This week in What in the World? we are taking a different approach to one cultural issue we’ve been discussing lately. Below is a letter from a brokenhearted father pleading with his 15-year-old daughter to reconsider her decision to become transgendered.
Although the conversation is hypothetical, the situation is not. Every day parents, pastors, and concerned friends and family members are having to address the painful reality of young men and women—sometimes mere children—making a life-altering decision with limited information.
Here’s the challenge: How can we share the truth with love, compassion, and grace? My hope is that the letter below will provide some clarity on the challenges lying ahead for transitioning teens and how we can communicate this out of care for the individual. Please feel free to share this with anyone who is, or could be, struggling with this difficult issue.
Dear Rachel,
After our heated discussion tonight at dinner, when you stormed to your room, I thought it might be better to write you a letter. You know that your mom and I love you very, very much—even when you cut your hair and wanted to change your name. We have always supported your decisions and will continue to do so. But there are some things you need to know.
First, we will always call you by the name we gave you, Rachel. As much as you would like us to call you Robert now, we can’t. When you were a child, we wouldn’t even lie to you to say that Santa Claus was real. Why would we lie and pretend now that you are really a man? It’s not going to happen.
I know you are angry and confused. Your counselor at school is telling you that you are a boy trapped in a girl’s body, and your only choice is to go through with this transition. But know this. That confusion, loneliness, and sadness will not get any better. It will only get worse.
I hate to break it to you, but being a man isn’t all that great at times. I see how your mom meets friends for shopping and dinner on a regular basis. She gets all giddy when she shows me the clothes she bought and tells me about how much fun they had. Men don’t do that.
STUDY:
[1] https://wng.org/roundups/study-effects-of-puberty-blockers-can-last-a-lifetime-1617220389
Santa Claus, Dolls, and Gender Confusion